The only time I cry at movies is when Sandy shows up wearing a leather jacket.


I’ve got lots of sexual fantasy league draft parties to go to.


Laying in bed, looking at boobies on the internet.

Laying in bed, looking at boobies on the internet.


Picnic in the park.

Picnic in the park.


She will do anything to get one of her baby brother’s donuts.

She will do anything to get one of her baby brother’s donuts.


If my daughter did Yelp reviews

"Mmmmm, this ranch dressing is pretty good."



They were showing zero Bruce Lee movies at the Oriental Theatre today. What a waste of time!!!

They were showing zero Bruce Lee movies at the Oriental Theatre today. What a waste of time!!!


Coffee after boys night

Coffee after boys night


Wanna know the truth about something?

The first time I had an orgasm, I thought to myself very loudly “WTF is going on inside my penis right now!?!”


I tricked my workout app. It totally didn’t count the hamburger and two beers I had when it showed the calories burned.


Haven’t had much to say lately

Been reading a bunch of people’s posts the last few days, and I had a feeling a lot of this sort of stuff would be said after a person like him did what he did.

As soon as I heard the news, I got very scared for a lot of people that I had become close to the last three years of my life. Those who use humor as their only means of communication.

I’ve found myself sitting in parking lots of construction sites looking up at the roofs and wondering if I’d have the balls to go head first all the way down, just because I didn’t know how to talk to someone about something simple that was seriously bugging me.

I haven’t thought about that stuff for a long time, but after the other day, I got scared again. Not for myself, but for some of you that I really admire.



Quad City graffiti #realassgangstaahit

Quad City graffiti #realassgangstaahit


Love & Donuts

Love & Donuts