I think it’s safe to say it’s fall now.

I think it’s safe to say it’s fall now.


Is this real, or does he have implants?

Is this real, or does he have implants?


If a tree falls on you in the woods, do you still hear me laugh?


Who the fuck doesn’t like U2???
Apple

Under the perfect conditions, I can whistle through my nose. The perfect conditions have been happening for over two weeks now, and I’m ready to put the Claritin back under the sink.


My idea of a good time.

My idea of a good time.


Dear Jesus, thank you for answering my prayers.

Dear Jesus, thank you for answering my prayers.


I live my life on the simple principal that every circle must have a smiley face drawn inside it.


Glamour Shots are still a thing here in Iowa.

Glamour Shots are still a thing here in Iowa.


The only time I cry at movies is when Sandy shows up wearing a leather jacket.


I’ve got lots of sexual fantasy league draft parties to go to.


Laying in bed, looking at boobies on the internet.

Laying in bed, looking at boobies on the internet.


Picnic in the park.

Picnic in the park.


She will do anything to get one of her baby brother’s donuts.

She will do anything to get one of her baby brother’s donuts.


If my daughter did Yelp reviews

"Mmmmm, this ranch dressing is pretty good."