90% of the things I say is “I ate too much Mexican food.”
Every man’s favorite position in the most humiliating thing he can talk you into doing.
I let him know that I thought that he was also a very cool guy.
OMG. Did you guys see what Uruguay did? Better stay away from that place unless you like hugs a bunch.
Well, I sent out Christmas cards to all zero people that have ever sent me one. Merry Christmas.
Mr. Potatohead is my favorite toy that teaches my kids to put things in their butts.
Got my long underwear on today, and feeling super sexy.
Well, honestly, I have to watch whatever other people are watching always, cause I’m not a television owner, but if I had to choose:
2. Wayne’s World
3. The Kill Bills
6. Forest Gump
7. The Little Mermaid
8. Princess Diaries
9. Dirty Dancing
10. Pretty Woman
I don’t fucking know, I just started naming movies about half way through.
Just set a new local record by eating my waitress’s weight in sushi.